


Umiko set free

by GrellofSutcliff



Category: Free!
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-04-24 23:39:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4938343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrellofSutcliff/pseuds/GrellofSutcliff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Umiko hates the water in fact she cant stand it, mostly because she cant swim anymore but no one knows that! She's a second year at Iwatobi and her mother is spending more and more time away from home leaving Umiko along most of the time to deal with the loss of 2 people she loves; her father and her best friend whom just happens to be Rin's crush..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sink or swim?

"What's the matter Umiko? can't reach your bag?" Looking from the tree branch that held my bag to the first year students that had been bulling me since they started here "We put it there just for you!" in a fit of laughter they left to go home, it was Monday afternoon so I really had to find a way to get it down before someone noticed it up there but I don't know what to do I mean if I climb up there to get it the branch will snap... but I don't really have much of a choice the branch wasn't overly strong and I'm not a tiny girl its going to break that much is for sure. Looking around over my should I couldn't see anyone coming to I carefully climbed up the trunk of the tree and onto the branch, I could feel it blowing slightly under me the more I stepped out onto the branch oh god this isn't going to end well... My hear stopped as I heard the branch crack and giver out from under me, an ear piercing scream left my lungs I fell. The cold water hit my back as I began to sink even with my eyes squeezed shut I was terrified oh god what do I do! I cant breath I'm so scared I don't know how to swim this was a horrible idea someone help! I know ill scream! 

letting out the biggest scream I could I tried to flail my arms around to push myself up toward the surface but I did nothing. My lungs started to ache for air without thinking I try to take a deep breath its like my body is acting on its own. That's it this is it! I'm gonna die and its gonna be in the god damn Iwatobi swim clubs pool! I don't even freaking like water! damn it! for the water around me started to settle and I could feel its stillness, I'm scared to death right now but it feels so calm around me. 

the water starts to shift again and I feel someone put their arms around me picking me up pulling me back to the surface my body feels so numb and tingly all over. I hear a gasp of air but I still cant breath I feel so tired so weak like I want to go to sleep- "Can you hear me?" the words sound so frantic whoever pushes the hair our of my face I still feel the weight of the water on me but I know I'm above water "Makoto! quickly get her out of the water, she may have swallowed water she needs CPR" I had to fight myself from letting go I knew if I let sleep win I wasn't going to wake up "Rei do you know CPR?" Makoto? Rei? this is the swim club? I remember their voices from the club assembly early today yeah that's right! Makoto Tachibana, Rei Ryugazaki, Haruka Nanase and Nagisa Hazuki but even I had a good giggle at their attempt at gaining members I mean they aren't serious are they? "Ill have you know I have my first aid certificate!" I knew that was Rei by the tone of his voice "Than what do we do?" I guess that was Nagisa? he sounded so cute and child like almost like the boy Lolita of the group "well we roll her on her side to clear the air way?" oh god he did not sound confident at all... I don't know how much longer I cant keep myself awake! would you hurry up! I felt my body being rolled onto my side but that did nothing "now we roll her back?" he has no idea, does he? I'm going to die at the hands of a second year! "Now I hold her nose and give her mouth to mouth" say what? hey, woah-woah I never agreed to this! Someone held my head in place... her it comes! with the first bit of air pushed down my throat I felt nothing, this isn't going to work they left it to long those idiots! but when someone started doing compressions on my chest I could feel the water in my lungs being pushed around getting me almost breathe! yes that's it please just keep going! 

Before I really know what else I could do everything came splattering up in a coughing fit.


	2. Swim team savers

I was finally able to take a breath, my body felt light like the weight on my chest had been lifted "Can you hear me? I need you to open your eyes now" Haruka? I think? I still felt so weak but I did my best to fight my eyes open. Blinding white light was all I could see, it hurt so much it was so bright! a shadow lent over me it was hard to focus but my eyes started to adjust "are you alright?" I nod as I sit up to see the 4 boys around me watching me carefully "thank you" I choke out still feeling the burn of pool water in my throat "can you count how many fingers I'm holding up?" Rei held up 4 fingers "four," I say softly still a little shaken up, I did almost drown and all "Rei is that really necessary right now?" Makoto asks "She could be suffering for low oxygen to the brain" he snaps back "I'm fine really" putting on my best face I try to stand only to come crashing back down. how embarrassing. "you shouldn't try to move so fast" Nagisa puts his hand on the top of my head like you would a child, something I always hated! "so what made you want to take a nap on the bottom of the pool?" he asks in his innocent voice, as cute and sweet as he was it was starting to bother me "Nagi please cant you see the poor girl is still shaken up? I'm Rei Ryugazaki Second year student. What's your name" Rei sits carefully beside me putting his club jacket around my shoulders to keep me warm, I hadn't noticed till now but I was freezing " I'm Umiko... I sit the left of you in class". I don't blame Rei for not noticing me in class, he was a top student I, on the other hand, seemed to be just passing my classes. Let me explain a little my grades are just as good as his we get the same scores but you see I blend in so well in class that the teachers never notice I'm there so I get marked as no attending or that I don't apply myself. Teachers may not notice me but the other kids do... I get paper balls thrown at me, tacks on my seat, people cutting the ends of my hair when I'm not looking, poked with protractors, flicked with rulers... do you get the idea yet? Rei looked shocked at what I had said maybe because I know he prides himself on knowing everything and being a perfectionist so me slipping under his radar must have been some kind of failure "hey yeah! you're the one who sat on those push pins, I remember that Sensei didn't even notice you yelp, it was really funny" Nagisa fell into a fit of giggles holding his tummy as he did, However Rei seemed disheartened by it "are you feeling better now?" Makoto puts his hand on my shoulder to steady me whilst helping me stand "yes, thank you". Whilst I want to cry I look around me for my bag only to see it still in the pool... Damn with a sigh I fold my arms in defeat.

The sound of the waters surface breaking catches my attention huh? Haruka had dove in to get it for me, I didn't expect such kindness. He swam back up tho the surface and passed it to me from the pool "thank you Haruka" I bow slightly in appreciation "thank you all but I should get home and let you all get back to your practice". Leaving the pool area I let my tears flow but dare not sob nor make a sound- accidently running into someones broad shoulder I glace up, a mess of dark red hair and red eyes but what really catches my attention is the Samezuka academy swim team jacket, not thinking twice I turn and run into bathroom "hey are you o-" he stops. I hear his foot steps walking away "Yo what's with the crying soaked girl?" I can still hear him perfectly "She almost drowned in the pool," Haruka says in his monotone voice... guess sound travels a lot when there isn't the noise of school going on "Drown? if she couldn't swim why was she in the pool?" he asked back "Maybe it has to do with this Rin?" Nagisa giggled like a child... Rin? that was his name? "A tree branch?" Rei questioned "maybe she was in the tree and it broke? and that was her scream we heard when she was falling?" Makoto you smart cookie....Setting my bag on the change room bench I fished around in the soaked bag of books looking for my phone. The bells on my charms jingled as I pulled it out, Praying to god it still worked seemed pointless it was water logged... Guess I should expect an angry mother when I get home for being late oh joy.

*** I know this is mostly stupid ramblings and boring for anyone to read and I don't expect anyone to read I just really love Rei and Rin so yeah ~ Grell ***


	3. Now he sees, but will he care

After being scolded by my mother and being forced to stay in my room for the rest of the night, I began trying to dry out my books with my hair drier... I also had not told my mother about falling in the pool, I don't really know why but I just didn't think I needed to. With no luck trying to save my books I spent the rest of my night re-wring everything I could understand from my note books into new ones... By the time I was done my alarm clock was buzzing at me to get up damn it!

I did my best to get ready, putting on makeup to hide my tired eyes as best I could but we both know that's not something done! putting my make up back In my draw I saw my old mobile phone sitting beside it I mean I need a phone and all right? in the case of emergencies... like yesterday? nothing wanting to think about it anymore I changed my phones over. Now I bet you don't understand why I'm so against using this phone right? well, you see just before school started back for the new year... I lost my best friend and my father in the same day, this very phone I'm holding was the phone I had that day now I bet your thinking but its just a phone it has no emotional attachments? and yes it is just a phone but this was my 15th birthday gift from my father it was the matching purple one to go with my best friend Jinsune... her and I did everything together, only when it came to high school we couldn't go to the same schools her mother had insisted she go to Samezuka's girls campus guess that's why I picked the uniform so easy yesterday? 

Grabbing the charger to my phone I hurried out the door and off to the bus. My body still hurt all over I knew I shouldn't be going to school but the truth was I didn't want to worry my mother any more than I was, she thinks my grades slipping is because I am still trying to get over Jinsune, but truth is I'm trying to adjust to feeling lonely and not having my best friend anymore... I don't have anyone who understands me anymore guess its just easy to fade away now? When the bus finally did come it was very full so I stood by the door holding onto the bar as I was too short to reach the hanging handles.

"Hey Rei look! is Umiko" oh come on! can I not catch a break? don't get me wrong I was thankful for them and all but I wanted to go back to no one knowing who I was! "She doesn't look good today?" oh gee thanks, Nagisa! "your right, do you think she is still recovering? in any case, she should be home resting" god would they just stop talking for once! the noise on the bus was getting too much for me to deal with. no matter how much I tired to block it out it only got louder and louder! get me out of here! 

As the bus pulled to a stop at the gates I took it at a cue to run, whilst my run was nothing more than fast walking it still put a gap between me and my those two a much-needed gap might I add. I still had an hour before school started so I made my way to the library to change my phone and to have some quiet time with a book. Sitting in the back of the fantasy second with a book and my phone plugged in I turned the pages as I read them. A sense of relaxation washed over me the more I lost myself in the book "Really? weird why would she be here so early? not like she's in a club is she?" Haruka? god, damn it! no focus on your book! "I don't believe so but I don't entirely know that much about her" Rei why can't you just accept defeat and admit you don't know everything? it sounded like they are standing on the other side of the shelf "She looks simply awful too, her eyes are red her face is covered in makeup and you can still see the black under her eyes. I don't understand why she came today?" do I really look that bad? alright enough of this "You know I can hear you?" Silence "Umiko?" with a roll of my eyes "Yes Rei?" more silence. Nothing more was said. I slipped the book back on the shelf and gathered up my bag and charger. Do I honestly look that bad? hearing Rei say that made my heart sink, I don't know why but it hurt more than normal insults from boys maybe because I never expected such things from Rei? 

Taking my seat in class as Sensei walked in silly me forgot to check my seat, I instantly felt the tacks stabbing into me making me jump up enough brush them off my seat... That got a few hushed chuckles I really do hate school I thought as I pulled out my notebook I saw the sad eyes of Rei looking at me. I could tell he only just noticed... noticed that I'm here, noticed the tacks on my seat every day, noticed that it made people laugh but mostly that I did nothing about it. His eyes said it all yet his voice said nothing why am I not surprised?


	4. Lunch dates with the swim team

Lunch break is normally the time that I hide away from everyone, today I decided to go somewhere new and try sitting on the roof of the science block. as I started up the stairs "Yo Umiko! don't trip" before I could comprehend what whoever that was had said I felt a push to the back of my knee which sent me falling to my knees causing me to slide down a few steps "Ha! did you see that!"  followed by a fit of laughter made me cringe and my cheeks heat up... why must I be the butt of all jokes? When I pushed open door to the rooftop the wind caught my hair and pushed it back from my face making me blink a few times, the stinging from my grazed knees and shins hand dulled down now but I could still feel the blood trickling slowly. I really should come here more often it's so peaceful and calming, setting my bag down by the railing I checked my legs as I sat down carefully; not bad enough to see the nurse but bad enough to be noticed... damn it *Buuuuuuuz*  my phone vibrated on my leg though my pocket I really didn't want to check it but I had a feeling it could be important I mean no one texts me anymore so it had to be my mother... Unlocking it my keypad to brighten my screen ' 1 new message from Mother' i bet she's going to yell at me again! "Work needs me to go out of town for a few days I will already be gone by the time you get home, be good Umiko and do your homework"... this is pretty normal I guess, she's thrown herself into her work a lot more now so she doesn't have to deal with life at home i don't really blame her but it still hurts that she doesn't want to be around as much anymore. Closing the message I'm greeted by a photo of me and Jinsune the week before we had asked my dad to take us to Kyoto it was our last photo together, she was beautiful! the greenest eyes you will ever see! the only thing people noticed about us was our eyes hers moss green and my water blue... I miss her more and more every day. 

It was a stupid idea to look through my photos! every one of them was the two of us doing stupid things that made me so happy I really don't know what to do without her "Umiko? hey, what are you doing up here? woah, what happened?" Makoto? what is he doing here "I lost my balance on the stairs and slid down a few that's all, guess the concert was a but shape" I did my best to smile and laugh but i could feel the tears still in my eyes from those photos "hey now they are only grazes nothings broken right?" not knowing any better I think he thought I was hurt again, sitting beside me he put his arm around my shoulder to try and cheer me up "Yeah I guess your right, I'm a bit clumsy" I gave a small smile and an even small giggle "speaking of, how did you think climbing that old tree was a good idea?" referring to yesterday I didn't want to tell him the truth so I had to think on my toes..."I wanted one of the last cherry blossoms of the season, I love them more than any other flower" if I'm going to lie it should have some truth to it right? "Umiko that's dangerous, am I going to have to keep an eye on you?" I was touched... I don't think he meant it but hearing those words caught me off guard and touched a soft spot "Girls shouldn't be climbing trees anyway" Haruka inputted as he sat down across from us with his bag "Wow Umiko is eating with us today?" Nagisa being his bubbly self plopped himself down on my other side "oh I'm sorry I almost sat on your bag! hey is this your phone? it's really cool with all the rhinestones all over it" where does he get all this energy from? Nagisa pushed one of the keys on my phone as he picked it up making the screen light up "Umiko who's this?" he asked innocently "No one you guys would know" I say taking it back "she's really cute see Haru!" Nagisa takes it back and passes it back "I know her" what? I snap my head up and look at the dark-haired boy with big blue eyes "Rin liked her in his first year, he would always point her our and blush when she walked past" w-what? no no, this can't be happening "Rin blushed? I find that hard to believe" Makoto laughed as he took his arm back from around my shoulder "Yeah her names Sune right?" Haruka asked looking at me as he passed my phone back.

I couldn't answer I was still shocked he knew her... "y-yeah her name was Jinsune" I forced out with a shaky voice "Was? what an interesting choice of the wording" Rei says as he sits with us "Was is past terms, her name Is Jinsune" he tries to correct me "No" I say back blankly glancing up at him.... does he not realise that I'm just as smart as he is? "Excuse me? I believe I know what I'm talking about I have the top score of the second years" pushing his glasses up with a smug smile. "Rei she's right" Haruka says looking bored as he starts to eat "Umi? what happened to your legs" Nagisa cuts everyone off in the conversation to point out the obvious "seems Umiko here is clumsy and fell on the steps" Makoto answers for me still thinking I was upset about it "well that's no surprise really you body is still weak and under a lot of stress from yesterday" Rei says with a mouthful of food... his manors leave something to be desired "can I borrow your notes from class?" Nagisa asks once again cutting the conversation off "sure" as I pull out my black notebook Haruka pauses "your notebook was purple yesterday" Looking at him questioningly "your zipper was open and I saw that your note books had been purple now they are black" his monotone voice is starting to play on my nerves "Surely you didn't spend the night rewriting everything" Rei questions as he flicks though the pages of the book "Umiko you needed to rest after yesterday not be awake all night have you slept at all?" Makoto asks holding my face to look at him, I bet he's a big brother... "No" i say softly feeling somewhat ashamed... did he really care? and Haruka did he really pay attention to something so small? "I'm taking you to the nurse, come on" he picks up my bag with his before holding out his hand to help me up.

Should I really take it?


	5. Never letting go

"And there we go, all cleaned up and wrapped up good as new" the nurse patted my leg with a warm smile "Umiko its been a while since I've seen you here, you still holding up alright? it can be tough i know but things take time, having your friends and family around you makes things less stressful" She sits carefully on the bed beside me with her hand on my knee. Looking from her to the back of Makoto rested on the door "yes I'm fine, mother took me to the doctor to get something to help" I smile softly to reassure her "Wonderful! May I ask if your still taping yourself every morning to help with the pressure?" Woman would you shut up! "Uh not so much no only in cold weather" I see Makoto turn to look over his shoulder "tsk tsk Umiko" she wiggles her finger at me "are you going to your physio anymore? If not I'll have to ask Makoto over here to help you he is a sort of back export after all". She giggles to herself as she cleans up damn crazy woman, grabbing my bag from Makoto's hand on my way past I try to head back to class before he can question me "Umiko wait up" nope, the bell for lunch to end and a sea of people flood between us on my way to class.The room is semi full when I enter it I catch a glimpse of red glasses whilst swiftly walking to my spot "good to see you patched up" Rei comments as I use my bag to brush off my seat. The push pins get sent tumbling to the ground and a few groans of disappointment are heard through the room. "Buzz kill much" a boy behind me complains "I know man, wish shed take the hint already... No one wants her here" there was a snort of giggles as their conversation grew louder "remember the time we locked her in the store closet during the fire drill? The most fun part was she cried!" I notice Rei's shock as he watches me expecting me to do something "quiet down everyone" as the teacher enters the room I feel somewhat of a peace wash over me at their silence. As the class came to an end I packed away my books and waited for the bell to ring "Umiko? Psst Umiko?" Nagisa shut up you're going to get in trouble- the bell sounded breaking my thoughts "Umiko why are you ignoring me?" Nagisa plopped himself on my desk "I'm not, what do you want Nagisa?" I was tired I was grumpy and very hungry! All I wanted was to go home "I wanna be text buried!" Nagisa flipped open his phone with a happy giggle "no way" putting my bag over my shoulder I started towards the door "Nagisa stop, Umiko is very tired she needs to go home and rest not text you" Rei really needs to tone it down a notch... 

The walk home today was really peaceful, I had my earbuds in and music playing to help me calm down after a long day "I don't think she can hear us hello Umiko?" Damn it! I hear Makoto's voice over my music "It was weird what the nurse said, she's so emotionally cut off that I don't want to ask her if she needs help" there's a long pause before a mono tone bored voice replies "you would be too if you lost your best friend"... He knows? I thought no one knew... "Rin was really upset about it... She attended the girl's campus but he'd always sneak off to watch her in PE class he said that it was refreshing to see a girl who cared about sports the way he cared about swimming" I hear a few moments of silence filled in by my music "What happened?" Nagisa always with the curiosity poked himself into the conversation "Car accident, Rin said that they had a thing about it at school... Apparently her and Umiko wanted to go to Kyoto it was really exciting for them Rin said he had over heard her talking about they got matching pink and purple kimonos for it" I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes why is this so freaking painful! "heard it was a pretty bad wreck too, seeings as Umiko was the only one who got out of it..." enough of this! I turned my music up loud enough to drown out their voices. I didn't wanna remember any of it! I have spent so much time ignoring everything pretending like it never happened to wish that it was all just some bad dream! no one around me knew I had begged my principal not to tell anyone I didn't want to be looked at like that! I didn't want the whispers! no one should have known! damn it Haruka and your stupid friend Rin!

After reaching the walkway up to my house I could still hear people behind me, my phone started to ring causing my music to stop playing... Damn it! pulling out my ear buds i answer it with a sigh "hello?" knowing full well its my mother i don't even bother checking caller ID anymore "Just checking you got home alright, remember do your homework and go to school everyday and if you are to tired to go to school, tell me if your not not going before you don't show up and i have a heart attack from your teacher calling me" if there's one thing my mother does to much its over react... "yes mother I know, I'm just gonna spend the next week or so doing some study or something I don't know yet..." the other end went silent as always i knew she had a hard time watching me become more and more anti-social but truth be told I wasn't ready to have new friends "just stay safe, ill see you in a week" as soon as she had finished her sentence she ended the call "Yo! Umiko" damn it! why can I never seem to have a moments peace! more so when its Nagisa! all I wanted was to go home, take a bath and curl up in bed! "Come have dinner with us!, we didn't know you lived about here Haru lives just up a head and I live just down here" pausing in my steps I turned to see the whole swim team plus on... Rin Matsuoka. I don't know why I didn't notice it was him the other day at the pool, but it was I'm alright it's hard to miss teeth like that and the red of his eyes they reminded me of a blood thirsty shark! the guy was kinda creepy. Don't think he noticed we knew he was always hanging around watching her practices he always had his eyes firmly fixed on her like she was some kind of goddess... if only some guy would notice me like Rin noticed her, I bet he never even noticed me all the times that he would sit near me watching her? I knew she liked him back too... she had the hots for him big time! everyday shed push herself a little more if she knew he was watching... he was her motivation sad reality that they both wanted each other but now we will never know... "yeah come have dinner with us" Rin added shifting his cap brim like he always did when he was shy around... her "Yeah ok..." I really didn't know what else to say I felt bad for being so harsh to them all they did save me after all. Nagisa rushes up to me swinging his arm around my neck to drag me off to the group "it'll be lots of fun!" he then went on to ramble about everything he could in the short walk there... But in all honesty I had been watching Rin the whole time; the way he walked with his head down and shoulders slumped over clearly he was in the same place but I get the feeling it was much worse seeings as he loved her and will never get the chance to tell her... I don't know what would be worse: never being able to tell her that he loved her and what she meant to him or watching her fade away and have to say goodbye "why the sad face, am i boring you" poor sweet Nagisa he really was a little sweetheart "Not that... just thinking" i pull my phone out for him as I spoke "here, put your number in it" I had never seen someone face light up so much over something so small but I had to say it was refreshing to be around people that laughed and made jokes and not jokes about me. 

As my steps started to slow on the what seemed like millions of steps Rin dropped back with me not saying anything at first just walking and sneaking a side glance every few steps "you miss her" that caught me off guard "is it that obvious?" just 3 days ago all of them knew nothing about me and here I am spending time with them and yet they knew more about my life than most of my family... I really don't know how to feel about it all "yeah... I do"


	6. Rin?

Sitting at Haruka's house i felt like a fish out of water, sitting beside Rin made me feel a little less nervous but still nervous none the less. i could feel this how do i explain? this protective vibe coming off of him like he felt he needed to keep me away from everyone else? i felt it oddly comforting when in such a new place like this. Dinner wasnt really much to the tummy it was mostly just fish with a side of more fish really? oh and a little rice on the side cant forget the one thing that didn't make me feel sick... The others had taken to the TV and video games in Harukas room whilst Rin and i stayed sitting in the living room "Must really be hard for you..." Somehow i feel like Rin isn't the big talking type so even hearing him trying to talk about this with me seems like a big step. feeling the lump in my throat return for what feels like the hundredth time today i nod slowly "I miss seeing her too, Do you want to talk about it?" glancing up at Rin for the first time i notice how soft his face looks i had never seen it like this before i felt like now was the best time to talk about it... with someone who knew how amazing she was. "I miss her, i fell lost without her" my voice was shaky and i didn't know what else to say just that i missed her! my fist clenched and my body trembling as Rin put his arm around me to comfort me "I cant get used to not seeing her bouncing down the halls of the pool giggling and singing before her practices... it feels like theres a little spot missing" i heard the strain in his voice but knew he was holding it together better than i was "Do you remember the time that you two decided that she needed to have red hair for the swimming carnival? only to have it wash out? she got so upset because you two stayed up the whole night dying it" reminiscing over things brought the tears out of my eyes and down my cheeks but i could feel a weight lifting before i could catch myself i blurted it out "I watched her go..."

Nothing was said for what felt like hours, Rins face frozen in place with his eyes wide, I had never told anyone that before nor did i think i would but it slipped out so suddenly! the weight had been thrown right back down on me like a ton of bricks. Rin's eyes started to water had i really upset him that much? "was she in pain?" his voice broke a little I give a slight nod "I tired to help... Someone hit us i dont remember much else i only remember being in the water and m-my dad wasnt moving, he" i took a deep breath sharing this for the first time was a lot harder than i had thought! Rin pulled me closer to comfort me but it only made the tears flow more "He wasnt moving, i yelled for him to help me but he didnt move at all.... Jinsune wasnt moving but i could hear her breathing i-it sounded so horrible i couldnt get the sound of my head for weeks!" i started to feel frantic and anxious just telling Rin about all this, i clung to his arms with tight hands living little red marks on him "I-i called for help on my phone but by the time they came the car was full of water... The seatbelt i had on had me pinned down, Jin was caught up in hers the sliding door had been crumpled in on her... she couldnt breath, t-t-the doctors said that everytime she tried to breath she was collapsing her lung more and more" i couldnt do it anymore. My body took over and my sobbing became so strong that i hurt all over just breath. He tightened his arms around me and held me to his chest rubbing my back soothingly i could hear it in his breathing... he was crying too i'm so horrible to make him sit there and listen to me telling him how someone that he possibly loved died in detail! i'm such a horrible terrible person!

After i had calmed down enough to stop crying Rin continued to hold me, until i felt my eyes slip closed listening to his breathing with my fist clenched in his shirt i felt relaxed and peaceful about sleep for the first time in a long time... whilst i had not gotten to the point of sleep yet i could feel it letting closer and closer "Rin? you gonna spend the night man?" Harukas voice startled me a little as it broke the silence "if its not much trouble? she cried herself to sleep on me" i felt bad for forcing him into this spot but i didnt have the energy to move i was emotionally worn out for all the crying "You alright?" Rin sifted me on his lap to hug onto his torso "She opened up to me, more than i was ready to know" the guilt hit me like nothing i had felt before "hearing the pain in her voice i couldnt yell at her to stop i also couldnt imagine watching one of guys d.... i cant even say it" Rins body tensed tightly i had upset him that much... "get some rest man, you know where the spare bedroom is". When i opened my eyes it felt like just a few seconds but it was light out, birds cheeping and everything! to my left laid a sleeping Rin sleeping on most of the bed cramming me against the wall, his arms folded up under his head peacefully enjoying his sleep i had to restrain for curling up into him he looked so comfortable! what am i saying! that's my best friends crush! damn it Umiko stop it! you broke him last night you cant go messing with peoples emotions like that!


	7. Nagisa...

3 weeks Isn't a long time in retrospect but when you spend almost every waking second of it alone with your thoughts it often feels like a long time, so long that you're being to question what it is that lead you to your current place in life. Most girls my age at living their lives with a fullness that only they know to be the social norm of wake up attend school spend your free time focusing on boys and school whilst without knowing it creating the structure for the rest of their lives... This is the most important part of someone's life this is the time when you learn the most about who you really are despite what others say High school is when your life really starts. The people that you associate with in High school play a role in who you become they shape your mould and most likely stick with you for life if your not smart enough to ditch the dead weight as soon as you can. Counter argument is that you don't pick your friends in high school, everyone wishes to be in the popular groups wishing to be noticed for something an to crave recognition for something that means little to nothing in the long run. They always say that someone has a place somewhere in the sachem of things but realistically if you don't fit in the cookie cutter mould or don't force yourself into that mould sorry kid but your gonna slip through the gap, strong chance that no one will notice that you had even been there from the start. Not everyone is going to notice you either there's a very strong chance you can see the same people every day for a year and half there is not one of the them will remember you so don't think your special sugar your one little person in a sea of teenagers wishing that their life meant something but really only a percentage of them will be something... The others are going to end up in dead end job with a wasted collage degree in something stupid that they get no enjoyment out of, most likely going home every night to a wife that they feel no romantic connection to anymore perhaps a children that are constantly feeling let down by you or better yet spend more time with their head in their phone than in the real world perhaps even out all night whilst you sit by the phone waiting for a phone call to come bail them out... Or if your more unlucky than others you'll end up working at a convince store or a fast food chain with a bunch of snot nose teenagers with no one waiting for you when you get home other than a cat who doesn't give a shit about you and TV dinner that's used by date was a month and a half, my best guess is it will be chicken 'chicken' with a few green beans a tiny fist full of carrot and frozen burnt mashed potato's. You'll sit on a sofa that you got at a yard sale from a little old ladies family who wants to sell off her things so they can ship her off to a home. The questionable smell coming from inside the cushions stopped bothering you months ago. The tv in front of you will have seen better days probably with a coat hanger twisted out of shape to get signal but most of the time it's only horrible daytime TV soap operas to keep the elderly entertained but you settle for it none the less trying disparately to get hooked on it to escape reality to the point that you come home from work every day to watch it but before long you start to hate yourself... "Is that really the way you feel Umiko-chan...?" I glanced up from the keyboard of my laptop to see the heartbroken face of Nagisa Hazuki reflecting off the screen. This had been the first time I had seen or spoken to any of the swim team in yeah you guessed it... 3 weeks honestly I kind of felt abandoned by them? They had pushed their way into my life and now because of their swimming completely dropped me like a hot potato or a ticking time bomb to validate their actions I guess in a way I was a ticking time bomb just not the kind to blow... Rather the kind to self destruct and implode on myself. His bottom lip trembled softly and his eyes watered like a child who had just seen his childhood superhero fall victim to evil it would have almost broken my heart but it didbt, it didn't even feel touching to me I felt nothing not even an ounce of emotion. I watched him as he fiddled with the hem of his shirt I still find it hard to believe he's a second year with the way he acts sometimes. I could see it flashing past his eyes, every little emotion he felt I admires how he could put them on display like that for the world to see Nagisa really was a brave kid in more ways than one i guess you could say "U-Uimo-chan...?" i didnt want to look at him not after he had seen what i had written he had just seen the deepest darkest parts of my brain. Closing the lid with more force than i really needed i pushed it into my bag trying to make it seem that i was mad at his intrusion into my personal thought but the fact of the matter is im scared, scared that he will think less of me or even that he will reject me i dont want to admit it but i fear rejection and i fear what i will do to me in my already weakened state. All the self help books say that i need to surround my self with love and support from those around me and that seclusion if the worst thing for me i just don't know how? How do you let people in when for years your world has been as small as my mother, my father and my best friend? Now... Now its just me "Umiko? C-cant i stay with you?" Nagisa's soft sweet voice made me look back over my shoulder at him. The small boy whom was taller than me looked broken and sad just as i felt on the inside at that moment i saw a lot of myself in him, the down cast eyes and the shy and slightly shaken stance I wanted to take pity on him if. Desperation would be the only thing that has lead him to me, if i dont give him some where to stay hed most likely be sleeping on a park bench tonight right? With a small nod of my head his face brightened and his eyes looked more happy than i had seen them. Guess that means I'm not spending the night alone tonight?


	8. A photo worth a thousand words

Not that I really wanted Nagisa to stay with me I didn't really have much of a choice, a sense of shame washed over me as I opened the front door to my home "this is it... sorry if its smaller than expected from my family name, father wanted us to stay humble and live in small home" Slipping my shoes off and making my way to the living room, the humming of the fish tank filter and the occasional bubbles escaping the small cave in the tank filled the silent house, the glow of the tank the only source of light casting shadows all over the room "Is your mother not home Umi-chan?" chan? who is he calling chan? glancing over my shoulder at the unexpectedly shy boy in the genkan "no, she is away on business" not looking him in the eye I make my way to the light switch. the sudden light made us both blink a few times. Each wall of the living room had some form of memory hanging on it, photos from my childhood caught Nagisa's eye as he shuffled his way to it dragging his feet trying not to loose his slippers "Umi-chan is this you and your family?" he questioned the obvious "that is my mother when she was my age" I point to the old photo "that is my father and mother on their wedding day, my mother was pregnant with me but trying to hide it from my father's family as they wished him to marry someone pure" my fingers softly touch the photo tracing my father's smile letting my mind soft back to all the memories of my childhood spent with him... There is nothing I wouldn't give to have him back "and this one?". Blinking away the tears pooling in my eyes "um?" Clearing my throat I turned to the small blonde boy "that is me and my best friend Jinsune in elementary school with our friend Kie Tsukishima. We used to play volleyball together until Jinsune decided she wanted to do swimming to impress a boy we all thought she was an idiot, well turns out she was really good at it" I couldn't help but chuckle at the photo of both us in our orange and black uniform smiling from ear to ear clinging to poor blonde boy in glasses. "What about Umi-chan? What did you do after volleyball?". That's a question I didn't know how to answer not many people had asked it other than family members being noise as always "well, I decided I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to be happy and free" the blonde chuckled "you sound like Haru-chan" that on its own struck a cord with me... I admired Haru and his abilities.

The evening progressed slowly with not much being said between the two of us as we invested ourselves in our study's "Umi-chan?" Breaking my focus from my history homework to answer "what is it now?" Truly I didn't wanna sound rude but Nagisa had this way of... Getting under my skin sometimes you could say? "D-do you like Rin-chan?" was it really that obvious to onlookers? did I really play the part of love sick damsel? no no how could I? I didn't even know the extent of my own feelings how could an innocent minded little boy who knows nothing of love! "Don't be stupid, boys I have no time for I'm much too busy in my own life" the lead of my pencil snapped against my notebook making him jump "but Rin-chan likes you..."


End file.
